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Performed by Adam Sandler and Allen Covert
Richie: ";So ya doin' good?";
Samantha: ";Ya, I'm fine, how 'bout you?";
Richie: ";How good could I be? I haven't seen you in three hours.";
Samantha: ";Ohhh, Richie. Hey Richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. So if I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming.";
Richie: ";Ok. So look, uh, do you wanna meet at the Spring Fling Dance thi...";
[She hangs up phone]
[Phone rings]
Richie: ";Hello?";
Samantha: ";Sorry, I thought he was coming.";
Richie: ";That's ok. So, about the dance. Do you wanna meet
Samantha: ";Umm, well my brother gets the car on Friday nights.";
Richie: ";Well that's ok, I'll come by and get you. Lets say around...";
[She hangs up phone]
Richie: ";Come on..";
[Phone rings]
Richie: ";Hey.";
Samantha: ";Sorry. I guess he was just going to the bathroom.";
Richie: ";That's ok. Well look, uh.. what was I saying? Oh yeah, should I pick you up at like seven-thirty or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really kickin..";
[She hangs up the phone again]
Richie: ";Give me a break...";
[Phone rings]
Richie: ";Hello.";
Samantha: ";Sorry. It was just my dog.";
Richie: ";Hey, what's your dad's problem anyways!? Why can't we talk?";
Samantha: ";He just thinks I'm on the phone too much. Oh my God, uh, I gotta go.";
Richie: ";Don't hang up!";
Samantha: ";Richie, I can't talk!";
Richie: ";No, I'm sick of this! Put your dad on the phone! I wanna talk to him.";
Samantha: ";It's not my dad.";
Richie: ";What? Well, who's there? Why can't you talk?";
Samantha: ";Uh, just look Richie, someone is here.";
Richie: ";Who's there? Is it a guy!?";
Samantha: ";Richie!";
Richie: ";I knew it! I'll kill him! Put him on the phone!";
Samantha: ";oh.. it's just.. hold on.";
[Hands phone to guy]
Richie: ";Hey man! What the hell are you doing there!? Samantha's my girl!
You'd better stay away from her or I'll make you wish you were never born!";
Buffoon: ";Fuckin' shit!";
Richie: ";Yeah, fuckin' shit is right buddy! Don't think I'm kidding around, man! I'm crazy! I'll smash your head in! I swear to God!";
Buffoon: ";One time I saw my Grandmother in the shower. Her bush starts above her belly button.";
Richie: ";Yeah, well that's too bad! But I'm still gonna come over there and beat your face in!";
[Richie slams down phone]
Samantha: ";What happened? Was he mad?";
Buffoon: ";My neighbor's dog has a four inch clit!";
Samantha: ";Oh Buffoon, you're the coolest."; [Whispering] ";I love you...";
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